On Keeping A Humor Journal

“Now that’s a funny cartoon!” As soon as that thought struck me, I’d cut it out and paste it into a notebook I was keeping. After a time, I started writing in any and all funny experiences I’d gone through. Once in a while, I’d specifically try to recall humorous episodes from earlier in my life and add those, too. My book was growing and this was fun, my new “hobby”; keeping a humor journal.

Once I had decided to keep this humor journal, I was on the lookout for all things funny and soon realized that this hunt for humor had become a major factor in brightening my average day. In fact, on those rare (for me) days when I might be feeling a bit down, I’d go to my humor journal and find enough things, that were funny to me, to cheer me up! Hey, this little book I had created has become a rather valuable tool for my personal life. I told my friends about it and some of them liked the idea enough to try it. After a few months, most of them reported back to me that they found great value in it as well.

Here comes the big payoff! When I am preparing for a speaking engagement and want to add some original humor, appropriate to my subject or audience, I’ll always find something to use from the countless entries of personal, funny anecdotes in my humor journal! Fantastic! If you are ever running any sort of meeting, large, small, formal or informal, and wish to add some original humor, your humor journal is perfect. Review it for some humor, appropriate to either your audience or your topic, insert that into your talk and there you have it!

I put everything in there…jokes I hear (those are more for me than to use in my presentations or keynotes), funny people watching moments (airports are great for that), advertisements that make me laugh (there’s the ad on the plumbers truck that states, “Remember, a flush beats a full house!”), funny road signs (oh, they’re out there. I recall one that says “LODGING NEXT RIGHT”, beneath that is another sign, “STATE PRISON”), newspaper clippings, I even take photos of things I see that you just wouldn’t believe. I have a picture of my car, my tag says HAHA1, parked totally at random, next to a car with a tag that reads, VRY FUNY.

In my keynotes on minimizing day-to-day stress, I share all of this with my audience and the feedback has been wonderful. People just love the concept and find real benefit in keeping a humor journal. I believe you will, too. Get yourself a notebook, think for a moment or go out exploring and begin making your entries. If you have a moment, I’d love to hear from you on this.

Barry Roberts is a humorist, helping businesses achieve maximum profitability and productivity by reducing stress and developing innovative thinking skills. He is the author of Practice Safe Stress and The Sales Coach II, Barry can be reached at www.BarryRoberts.com.

It was a tubular experience

My dad had some rather serious surgery several years ago. After the successful surgery, my sister and I waited for him in his hospital room. He arrived still heavily sedated, with tubes seemingly coming from everywhere. We tried talking to him, but got no response. He was still very out of it from the surgical anesthesia. A short while later the nurse arrived. She gave him a quick once over, checked all of the tubes and whispered to him, “You look fine. I’ll be back to check on you again later.” As she was leaving, Dad lifted his head slightly and, with eyes still shut, in that post-operative, dry, hoarse voice, he said, “Thank you. When you come back, if you bring another tube, we can have lunch together!”

Sock it to me

Many years ago, I was NYC high school music teacher. Aside from teaching general music classes, I was the choral director. On one particular day, the band teacher was out and I was asked to cover his classes. No problem.

During orchestra practice, one of the tuba players told me he was having trouble with his instrument; the valves were sticking. I took the tuba from him, disassembled all the valves, cleaned them, oiled them, realigned them and put them back. To make sure the tuba was now OK, I put it to my lips, blew a few notes and gave it back to the student.

As I was walking away, I heard him whisper to one of his friends, "Oh crap, he used my mouth piece!" Now, he had a legitimate gripe...I should not have used his mouthpiece...how unsanitary of me.

I turned to apologize and found him cleaning the mouthpiece with his sock! I said nothing. I just wondered how insulted I should feel and went on with the rehearsal.

Sacre Bleu!

I had a college professor who was rather old fashioned, had perfect diction and (so far as I could tell) used perfect grammar. Surely, he would NEVER use foul language.
There were a few students in the class who found ridiculous delight in trying to get the professor flustered. We could often surmise that he was angry and frustrated and yet never really let it show. Until one day....
One of the troublemakers was not prepared to hand in a paper that was due. He tried every tactic he could to get the professor to accept his excuses. The professor was turning red and trying very hard not to lose his control, when suddenly he pounded his fist on the desk and "Oh my gosh", we thought, "could this be it?" The professor took a deep breath, his eyes widened, another breath and finally, in rich round tones and trillings his "r", he said, "Young man, that's just (pausing while he searched for the right words) rrrrigid feces!
And that was the end of that.

Who are these people & what is customer service?

Not so long ago we bought a new refrigerator with a major brand name. Recently we had a problem with it and so, while it's still under warranty, we called "customer service". (Oy!)

After several attempts, she found our account (under the number I repeated to her at least 5 times). By the way, you'll need to know here, that this appliance is in our home on West Drive in Hawley, PA.

The next step was to confirm our address, and so she asked, "Is this at We Street, in Howley, Panama?"

"What!?", I said, "Where?"

She repeated it again. I finally deciphered that she was reading West as We St. ...We Street. She mispronounced Hawley as Howley...OK, an honest mistake and then thought PA was Panama! Quite honestly, at this point I was dumbfounded and getting frustrated.

She asked what the problem was and I explained the problem with the door of our refrigerator. And then came the bombshell....."Is that the front door of your refrigerator?"

I told her it was and asked her which of the Shvaytag (fictitious name) refrigerators had a back door. She suggested that I hold on while she looks that up for me. (Who trains these people?) I asked to speak with a supervisor.

A 'Timely" Remark

It was Father's Day a few years back and we were at a family Bar B Q at my brother-in-law's home. His Dad was there (a very wealthy man) and he admired the wrist watch I was wearing. "That's a great looking watch", he said. "How much does a watch like that go for?

The watch happened to be a Movado knock-off! I was a little embarrassed, after all, the cost of a real Movado would mean nothing to him and so I answered, "Joe, what kind of question is that for one gentleman to ask another?"

"Excuse me", he said and that was the end of it.

The next Father's Day we were back at my brother-in-law's and Joe was wearing a magnificent Rolex, obviously brand new and with a diamond to mark each hour. For the moment, I forgot about last year's incident. I was really impressed and told Joe what a magnificent watch he was wearing. After all, he could afford it so why not get it for himself!

"You like it?", he asked. "Twenty bucks at the flea market! You gotta be nuts to spend more that that for a watch!" He was so proud of his "find". I never mentioned my Movado knock-off...didn't want to appear to be outdoing him.

Just a quick question

When we go to the doctor it is because we are sick or injured. So why is it when we get there, the nurse/receptionist always says, "Hi, how are you?", often in a cheery, inquisitive tone?

In my head, I'm always thinking, "What do you mean, 'How am I?', I'm sick! I told you all about it when I called for the appointment!" But, rather than sound sarcastic, I usually reply with, "Well, not perfect. Otherwise, why would I be here, right?" I say it in a friendly way and usually get a chuckle.

It's just one of those silly little things that always seems odd to me.

Have fun today.